ARCHIVE (June 2004)
Smackdown Report (06/03/04)-by Michael Melchor
Friday June 4 2004 12:00:00 AM
The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely of the author and may not necessarily reflect
those of the rest of the human race.
And for once, I may need that because I have something to get off my chest a bit.
Okay, as you may (or may not) have noticed, I missed the last two Reports altogether. I made it back
to music with another column on 411Music on Monday and now I finally made it back to the SmackDown Report.
This is where I have to give proper thanks to Sean Carless for letting me duck out the last couple
weeks, but he knows why I had to. Believe it or not it had nothing to do with the show itself, but I'll get to that in a moment.
The reasons could have been a LOT more serious, but thank God they weren't. And now I've made it back when The site is ready
to blow up pretty big with some impressive help from RD Reynolds and the WrestleCrap crew. So now I get to do this for both 411 and The Wrestling Fan.
At least I don't have to worry about beating Scott Keith to the punch on 411 anymore as hes taken a
sabbatical from "the worst show on television". And he's not alone, as, while I was out it seems that just about NO ONE will
give WWE's second brand the time of day anymore.
What a bunch of crap.
Mind you, I've done my fair share of bashing the show. And I've done it to parts of it that I personally
dont like. But that doesnt mean that I dont get any enjoyment out of the show at all. And just to let you know, I missed my
reports dealing with medical issues and emergencies, so none of this "Melchor hates the show, too! Thats why he took off!"
I didn't write a lot while I was out (obviously), but I did do quite a bit of reading. And everywhere
I turned online there was a vast negative outpouring about the show. Hell, if I had the proverbial dollar for every time I
read someone taking a shit on SmackDown because of Bradshaw or the Cruiserweight situation (or a few other reasons) then I
wouldnt' have to work at my regular job, much less here. As you can probably tell, it's got me this pissed off.
To go so far as to label the show a doomed failure because of who's chasing the WWE Title is a fucking
joke. When it first happened I wasn't too excited about the prospect because Bradshaw's never been one of my favorites. However,
aside from Eddie's Mom this has actually been a well-told story. Through all of it, Bradshaw has turned into one
hell of a heel and comes off as the type of guy that will do anything to take that belt which is what a heel contender
should be. It also helps that Eddie was willing to lose most of the blood in his body to help get the storyline over,
and the beating he handed Bradshaw at the end of Judgment Day despite being covered in his own plasma and near the point of
collapse was an excellent display of how bad he HATES Bradshaw, and a great way to continue this whole angle.
As far as Jacqueline, that was obviously a stopgap measure because shes already out of the picture.
Homegirl ain't been on the show since. And while I agree that the angle really didn't serve much of an overall purpose, I
really dont think that the Cruiserweight Title is "forever tainted" because she won the damned thing. Besides, the crowd ate
up the fact that she beat him for it and was actually entertained by the whole thing! Looks like they accomplished
their goal with it.
Jesus, no wonder Bradshaw had to tear the IWC a new asshole. It just seems to me that theres a HUGE over-reaction to the show right now and it strikes
me as ludicrous to condemn the whole brand instead of watching the show and simply picking out what you like and what you
Is SmackDown as good as Raw right now? No, it's not.
Is SmackDown as bad as WCW Thunder was near its end? I don't think so. And I should even apologize
for making that comparison in the teaser for the last report that I did.
Is SmackDown going to fold and dry up because a small community of fans have loudly stated that the
show isn't worth their time because the big, evil, "no-workrate" Bradshaw is chasing their beloved Eddie Gurrero and
might take the title away from him? Hell no. And dont even bother trying to throw the ratings in my face, because Raw
is supposedly the best show on right now and their's arent doing that much better. But of course that gets written off as being a holiday show, and therefore
And if you want to talk PPV buyrates, Backlash didnt do much better than Judgment Day also delivered
"the lowest WWE buyrate in three years".
Kinda odd for the best show on TV, wouldn't you say?
It all boils down to a simple axiom that's been heard before but never listened to if youre a fan,
then please ACT LIKE IT. Call out what doesn't work, but don't bother calling for anyone's head over it because business isn't
as bad as you think for the SmackDown brand. Thats what I plan on doing, anyway. And a lot of reason for that is because the
show is NOT THAT BAD. Christ, just relax already.
Okay, I think Ive bitched enough. Although if something comes up between now and the end of the report
that I need to touch on that I didn't above, then I will.
One last thing before the show that I was going to do last week...going back to Jacqueline, All New
5 Moves Of Doom creator Brad McLeod makes an excellent point about a claim made on the show some time back...
kindly inform your readers that, despite what some silly Texas woman might say, Jacqueline is NOT the
first Female Cruiserweight Champion. In fact, she is not even the second. The first to hold THAT belt was Madusa, who beat
Evan Karagias on Dec. 19, 1999, in Washington D.C. She lost it to Oklahoma (Ed Ferrera) on Jan. 16, 2000, in Cincinnati. And
that was just stupid. Thankfully, Kidman took it back for his 3rd title run.
And, the second Female Cruiserweight Champ was Daphne (remember her?) who took it off of Chris Candido
by way of pinning Tammy Lynn Sytch, is a tag match, with Crowbar (Devon Storm, I love that man) on May 15, 2000, in Biloxi,
Miss. Chavo Jr. took it off of her on June 6, 2000, in Knoxville, Tenn. That was in a Three Way with Disco.
So, now, what about being the first Female Cruiserweight Champ in the WWF/E? Well, she has a claim
to that one.
The WWF Light Heavyweight title was never held by a woman. Just Sean Waltman, and that is close enough.
Hah! Well said, sir.
Show opens with video commemorating loss of 93 year-old James Dudley. You mean Grandpa Dudley passed
away this week? Why wasn't this on our site??
Video airs of last week's incident of the Dudleys kidnapping Paul Bearer before we see credits, pyro,
and TONIGHT: The Undertaker faces Booker T And out comes Booker T to the ring. He doesn't have to justify himself, but he
had nothing to do with Paul Bearer's abduction last week. He points the finger at The Undertaker so he would have an excuse
not to show up tonight And out comes John Cena, who has a problem with Booker jumping him last week during the Lumberjack
match. He wants to settle the issue in the ring and Booker's not having it, accusing Cena of copping his style and calling
Cena a "Booker wannabe". This prompts Cena to imitate Booker to hilarious effect. The 2 get nose-to-nose And General
Manager Kurt Angle is out with Luther, telling Cena he wont jeopardize the main event. He tells Cena to apologize to Booker
and get the heck out of the arena. Before Cena can speak, however, Booker jumps him and the fight is on. The brawl spills
outside and near Angle and Cena falls on Angle, knocking him out of his wheelchair. Booker exacerbates the problem by swinging
at Cena with a chair and missing, hitting Angle's bad leg. Angle gets a microphone and says that Cena attacked him and that
he can't wait to tell the board of directors so Cena can be stripped of the US Title. SO far so good as we go to:
Back to WWE Champion Eddie Gurrero vs. Danny Basham (with Doug) non-title match Eddie is out in a teal
convertible lowrider. Uggh. Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start and Eddie gets a headlock before bounding off the ropes with
a shoulderblock. Repeat the last sentence without the tie-up. A third trip to the ropes by Eddie and he comes off with a dropkick
before landing a high back body drop on Danny. Danny dumps Eddie over the ropes and Doug gets in a cheap shot. Eddie grabs
a chair and tosses it to Doug, who then gets ejected by the referee once he sees the chair in Dougs hand. Lie, cheat, and
steal, baby. Back in the ring, Eddie rolls up Danny for 2 before Danny chokes him down and nails a side suplex for 2. Neck
vise by Danny but Eddie is back up with a belly-to-belly suplex. Rights by Danny and Eddie "fires up" (can't really say "Hulks
up", now can I?) and lands a set of rights before a headscissors takeover. Eddie goes for the Triple Verticals but Danny blocks
the third and shoves Eddie into the ref. Eddie takes the opportunity to nail Danny with the belt and play dead for the standing
10 count by the referee. Lie, cheat, and steal again, baby. Eddie pops up at 6 and lands the Frog Splash for 3. Eddie celebrates
as we see Replays of the cheating before we go to:
Back to video of the SummerSlam press conference from the host city this year Toronto.
Cole and Tazz talk about the press conference when they are interrupted by the arrival of Mordecai.
I absolutely love the "Pale Rider" nickname coined by Cole, although Eric S will hate hearing that. Mordecai freaks out the
ring announcer, who states that Mordecai demand everyone bow their heads and grant a moment of silence as Mordecai prays.
Mordecai prays for the spoiled brat kids, the harlot women (including the grandmothers selling their asses~!) and the
cowardly and weak men before stating that, while Father forgives them, he does not. He will punish them all and damn them
to hell before the ring posts burst into flames.
In the back, Jackie models "the other one" for Rico and Charlie before we go to:
Back to Funaki vs. Chavo Classic (© - with Chavo Gurrero) WWE Cruiserweight Title Match I'm digging
the robe on Chavo Classic. In the ring, he has Chavo remove it for him. I LOVE these 2! Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start and
Classic shoves Funaki down. Funaki gets a headlock, followed by a shoulderblock, two armdrags, and an armbar on the mat. Classic
accuses Funaki of pulling the hair (heh) and gets a gut wrench suplex on Funaki followed by a headlock takeover off the turnbuckles.
Nice. Funaki dropkicks Classic form behind and sends him outside but Classic nails Funaki coming back in. Funaki with the
Irish whip but Classic holds the ropes and Funaki misses the dropkick. Funaki opens up on Classic with chops and rights before
whipping Classic to the corner. Funaki charges and gets sent over but lands on the apron and drops Classic. Funaki goes up
top and Chavo abandons the broadcast position to shove Funaki off the ropes. Classic rolls up Funaki for 3 and keeps the Cruiserweight
Title. Four women (did someone just say "rat"?) charge in from the crowd to party with the champ and Classic and Chavo leave
with the women, who Tazz says have "more miles than Rand McNally". Priceless.
The Summer Break Out Bikini Contest is next as we go to:
Back to In The Back, Classic and Chavo celebrate with the chicks before Chavo leaves and Classic pays
the women off! Hah!
In the ring, Jamie Noble is dressed in a tux and is the handpicked MC for the Summer Break Out Bikini
Contest. The participants are introduced Torrie Wilson, Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie, and Sable the Skag Whore before we go to:
Back to the Summer Break Out Bikini Contest Torrie Wilson, Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie, and Sable the Skag
Whore Okay, stop right there. I'm not about to run through this entire thing since weve all seen it half a billion times.
Miss Jackie wins. Afterward, Noble demands a kiss from the winner before getting doused with water and dumped in the sand
pool by all four.
Video airs (again) of the Dudleys kidnapping Paul Bearer before we go to:
Back to video of Kenzo Suzuki, who will be here next week.
Rene Dupree vs. Rey Mysterio Collar-and-elbow tie-up to the corner and Rey gets a drop toehold and
kicks to the legs. Cole announces that last week's show was the highest rated sports broadcast of the week, giving the finger
to the IWC. Corner whip by Dupree and Rey escapes and kicks Dupree into the corner before getting more kicks to the leg. Rey
gets the corner-mount 10 punches but Dupree is out with a hard clothesline. Irish whip and a flapjack by Dupree before landing
the forearm for 2. Dupree puts Rey up top but Rey knocks him down and lands a senton followed by a spinning headscissors takedown
and a bulldog for 2. Rey does the French Tickler (!!) and drops Dupree in position for the 619 but Dupree is up to flatten
Rey with a knee to the gut and show him how the Tickler is done right. Dupree goes for the powerbomb but Rey counters into
the sunset flip for 3! Who did Dupree piss off, anyway? I thought the push was going just fine...
Raw Rebound airs before Booker is shown in the back, preparing for the big match, as we go to:
Back to Cole and Tazz talking about the Great American Bash and a Replay airs of the earlier altercation
between Booker and Cena with Angle caught in the middle.
Out comes Bradshaw in the Longhorn Limousine. Bradshaw walks to the ring, carrying a bullrope and killing
the suspense for the announcement of the match at the Bash. Bradshaw demands respect (from a "smart" crowd? Not even if you
out-wrestled Benoit, dude) and says that he should be the champ but Eddie lied and cheated his way out of losing the belt.
Bradshaw states that Eddie got himself disqualified intentionally at Judgment Day, but wont be able to at the Bash in a...wait
for it...hold your breath if you feel so inclined...a Texas Bullrope Match. Bradshaw says this is personal now, but thats
fine with him. Eddie can't run or get DQed, and Judgment Day was a walk in the park compared to how bad the Bash will get.
Hey look COWBELL! Bradshaw goes over the rules and it looks the "touch 4 corners" variant. Bleh. Destiny awaits Bradshaw at
the Bash and Bradshaw rings the COWBELL before he takes his leave and we go to:
Back to MORE video of the Dudleys kidnapping Paul Bearer. Okay, we get it already...
Booker T vs. The Undertaker The Undertaker is hailed as being from Death Valley again. Nice. Booker
jumps Undertaker to start and kicks the shit out of him in the corner. Undertaker throw Booker in the corner instead for the
beatdown before nailing a clothesline and an elbowdrop for 2. Booker gets a kick to the gut but Undertaker is back with a
back elbow and shots to the shoulder. Booker stops the Old School ropewalk and Undertaker instead gets the big boot and legdrop
(always cool, so long as Hogan's not doing it) for 2. Undertaker with a Ki Lock (!) cover for 2 and more extensive shoulder
work. Undertaker goes again for the Old School Ropewalk but Booker kicks his leg out of his leg, sending Undertaker outside.
Undertaker takes a nasty bump to the floor and we go to:
Back to Booker off the top rope with a missile dropkick for 2. Back kick gets 2 more before Booker
goes to the chinlock. Undertaker is up but Booker gets a leg lariat for 2. Booker hits a clothesline but Undertaker blocks
and reverses a vertical suplex (and there's the Move Of The Night!). Slugfest ensues and Undertaker goes for the Last Ride.
Booker escapes but still takes the Chokeslam. Just then, Paul E is out and is coming to confront the Undertaker in the ring.
Has he lost his monkey mind? Paul says he had no idea the Dudleys would kidnap Paul Bearer and Undertaker grabs him by the
throat. The Dudleys appear on the videotron thing in front of a door they tell Undertaker that Bearer is behind the door,
and if he wants to see Bearer again hell listen to Paul E. Undertaker lets go of Paul and Paul E implores to join he
and the Dudleys. Paul E gives him one week to make the right choice or Undertaker will never see Paul Bearer again. Paul E
leaves, gloating but sore at the neck, and Undertaker looks pensive as the show ends.
See? There was nothing horrible about the show. My only complaint was that the main event ended in
an apparent no contest. But we had some humor (Chavo Classic), some good action (the main event and Rey/Dupree), and a couple
interesting storyline developments. What was so horrible about that?
L8. Thanks for reading, yall.
For more interesting (?) reading, click here.
Be sure to visit EdWolf for all of your (non-video) gaming needs, Rehab Radio for some good surfing music, and The Wrestling Fan for a good chuckle or two.
SmackDown Report: (06/10/04)
By Michael Melchor
The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely
of the author and may not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the human race.
Wow. Man, it has been busier than SHIT around here!
Big congratulations once again to Sean and the gang here for putting this site on the map. I really should be here more often
(as far as writing an actual column goes), but at least I get to throw in the sites official SmackDown Report. And I can have
claimed to have been there just when The Wrestling Fan was getting big, although Sean should take full credit for giving his
labor of love his all.
Now then, the pre-game show...
What better start than the Story of The Month Bradshaw
gets fired from CNBC because hes a dumbass. Now, Im not going to go on a long tirade or anything (so you'll be spared there
at least) because it's not really necessary. Both Dave Gagnon and Josh Grutman (!!!) have already played this for better laughs and tore Bradshaw
a better ass, respectively, than I ever could. But there is something I want to tell the No. 1 contender...
(Okay, I guess tones of voice don't translate well on
paper. Imagine, then, from Mallrats Willem looking at the 3D art and the kid comes up and tells him it's a schooner. Willem
eyes the little punk and responds:)
You dumb bastard.
It couldn't have taken THAT much logic to realize that
Germany already knows about its past. Did you not take the mental 5 pothole leap to the conclusion that what you were
thinking of was illegal? How much looking into it would it have meant an hour, tops? Youre smart enough to use a laptop,
John thats what Google and shit like that are there for!
Instead, you leaped right in. Now, I get what you were
trying to do the cheap heat thing. And you have to admit that it was probably pretty fucking effective. BUT, instead of doing
a little legwork, you got yourself fired from CNBC.
And I can even understand where Ken Anderson is coming form on this the lines of good taste are such
that what Bradshaw did DOES seem tame in comparison. I dont know if it's worth firing Bradshaw over, but Vince may not have
any other choice. This is the problem with WWE putting itself out in the open and one of the dangers of becoming mainstream. They're a publicly traded company...their stars are all
over the media...with the high profile that McMahon insisted that they have, the it's only pro wrestling argument unfortunately
doesn't apply to WWE anymore. We may see it that way, but I'm sure the stockholders and others who see WWE as a corporation
don't. Whether or not the IWC wants him fired is immaterial; now it's a matter of how much business WWE could lose
if they don't. And because of that, Bradshaw should have thought more about the heat he was attempting to get.
I've no idea where you'd be headed now, John. Better
cross your fingers and hope to God that Vince don't do to you what youre always accused of doing to newbies. And when McMahon
tosses the bar of Ivory at your feet and you bend over, whimpering, knowing that you'll be lucky to be on Velocity...remember
that you were too dense to have simply avoided this.
Overture, hit the lights,
this is it the night of nights...
And oh, what heights we'll hit...on with the show, this is it.
opens with a replay of Paul Es ultimatum to the Undertaker last week. I still hope all this is somehow Mordecai's doing...that
man is Undertaker's Greatest Enemy waiting to happen.
Credits and pyro from Long Island, NY where TONIGHT: The Undertaker
gives his decision!
Kurt Angle is already in the ring (with Luther Rains or however he spells his last name). Kurt
was booed there in Long Island as WWE Champion, but he could give a damn because he already knew he was better than them and
had the belt to prove it then. Angle shows video of him being run over and chaired in his bad leg (courtesy of John Cena and
Booker T) and calls both men for an apology. That seems to be his gimmick as General Manager, no? First from Eddie now from
these two...Booker is out first and gives Angle the FIVE-TIME apology before blaming Cena for everything that happened last
week and being dismissed. Angle calls for Cena next and out comes the US champ to get cut off vehemently by Angle, who demands
his apology NOW. Cena tells Angle that if he meant to hit Angle last week, he'd still be in the hospital and should
put him there now. Angle
stands sits down on Cena and tells him that, according to the Board of Directors,
Cena is on probation and will be suspended if he lays a finger on Angle. Angle demands his apology again and Cena apologizes
for absolutely nothing. He wont change a damned thing about himself and in his eyes, they're even he can't touch Angle, but
Angle can't see him~! Angle stops Cena as he's leaving to tell him that TONIGHT he will face Booker T, Rene Dupree,
AND Rob Van Dam to determine who will meet Cena for the US Title at the Great American Bash. Angle takes his leave and Kenzo
Suzuki is NEXT as we go to:
Kenzo Suzuki vs. Scotty Go Potty
Suzuki is out on a carriage
and throne carried by some dudes and trailed by his wife. And once again I can't think of a better victim than The Debuting
Wrestler Fodder Scotty Go Potty. Collar-and-elbow tie-up to the corner to start and Kenzo lands the knee to the midsection
and chops Scotty down. Kenzo pulls Scotty out for another knee to the midsection followed by a hard corner whip and a Yakuza
kick (naturally) for Scotty on his way out. Kenzo lands kicks to the back and the chest before Scotty reverses a suplex and
opens up with right hands on Kenzo. Off the ropes and Scotty hits a savate kick to drop Kenzo, but Suzuki is back up with
a hand to the throat. The hand moves to the face and Kenzo drops Scotty with a cross leg sweep so fast I was glad I didn't
blink to get the 3-count pin on Scotty. Not bad, but I can see now why the Hirohito gimmick was dropped...
of Ah-Nuld and The Rock
In the back, Kurt Angle has Booker, Rene Dupree, and RVD draw straws to see who faces Cena
first. Luther shuts the cameraman out of the room as we go to:
Back to Undertaker, looking all pensive
and stuff over his decision...
Cole and Tazz pimp the Great American Bash and the new SmackDown magazine before taking
Video airs of Bradshaw going to a salon in New York. You read that right, a salon. Shave, manicure, shoeshine...you
name it, Bradshaw gives it an anti-immigrant slant. Just be glad none of them are German, stupid ass.
Back in the arena,
the Longhorn Limousine is parked in the back. Bradshaw gets out and decides that he looks too good for Long Island so he tells
his driver to take him home. The car doesn't move so Bradshaw screams at his driver to haul ass, and the driver EDDIE GURRERO
(!!) tells him they're going for a ride, but it won't be to New York city. Eddie checks for hydraulics (none to be found)
and takes Bradshaw for a joyride as we go to:
Back to Moments Ago: Eddie Gurrero commandeers the
Longhorn Limo and takes it for a spin.
Earlier Today, the Dudleys celebrate and Paul E asks if they know what they
did. Paul E tells them they now control the only way of stopping the Undertaker and volunteers to go to SmackDown alone to
get Undertaker's answer while they keep Paul Bearer on lockdown.
Chavo Classic (with nasty rat hoes) is out to do commentary
Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Gurrero
Collar-and-elbow tie-up to start and Chavito gets a takedown into a front facelock.
Knucklelock results in Chavito sweeping Rey off his feet (no, they're not a couple) but Rey gets the armdrag and drop toehold.
High snap mare by Rey but Chavito gets the clothesline followed by a choke on the ropes and some rights. Off the ropes, Rey
gets a modified armdrag and sends Chavito to the outside. Rey bounds up top and lands a high cross body on Chavito to the
floor before we go to:
Back to Rey scoring a running legdrop on Chavito for 2. Chavito with the
Irish whip but Rey puts on the brakes and leaps at Chavito only to take a dropkick to the ribs (ow) for 2 again. Side slam
by Chavito gets 2 more. Chavito locks on the surfboard and then puts Rey on the top rope as he fights out. Chavito climbs
to meet Rey but Rey knocks him to the mat and dives onto him for 2. Chavito recovers and gets a high hot shot and a boot to
the head (ow part 2) for 2. In the ring, Chavito gets (almost an) octopus but Rey escapes and lands a seated dropkick. Rey
comes with a springboard senton for 2 before getting an armdrag. Rey goes for the hurracanrana but Chavito turns it into a
beauty move wherein he drills Rey face first for 2 again. Chavito attempts the Gory Driver but Rey counters and drop toeholds
Chavito into 619 position and nails it! Chavo Classic is on the apron and Chavito charges but Rey leaps out of the way and
Chavito nails Classic. Rey rolls up Chavito for the pin.
Raw Rebound airs before the Longhorn Limousine arrives again
slightly more damaged than before as we go to:
Back to replay of the limojacking from earlier and
the arrival before break.
Eddie is out to the ring in
a lowrider the Longhorn Limousine, now looking
a complete wreck. Eddie gets out and opens the passenger door, revealing that Bradshaw is in about the same condition as his
ride. Eddie hops in the ring and goads Bradshaw, who stumbles out of the limo and just now realizes its condition. Eddie tells
Bradshaw that hell wind as destroyed as his limo at the Great American Bash as we go to:
footage from the Passport To Pain tour in Italy and Germany. And, surprisingly, theres no footage of Bradshaw to be seen anywhere...
the arena, the Kurt-in-the-box opens as Angle has a nice seat for:
John Cena vs. Booker T. Three Pack Challenge for
the #1 contendership to the US Title at the Great American Bash (Damn, thats a lot to type~!)
Booker drew 1st straw and
has 5 minutes to beat Cena. If he doesnt, the next man comes out and attempts the same. If he cant do it, then #3 has
Collar-and-elbow to start and Booker opens fire with
knees and rights but Cena fires back. Booker gets a slam before stomping Cena down in the corner. Snap mare gets 2 for Booker
and Cena retaliates with a corner whip and clothesline for 2 of his own. Vertical suplex by Cena gets 2 again. Booker gets
a hot shot (our Move Of Th----wait...) before landing a savate kick (THERE'S our Move of The Night~!) for 2. Cena gets a small
package only for 2 before Booker hits, in succession, clothesline, a kneedrop, and a standing back kick for 2. Modified rear
choke by Booker now but Cena fights up and out with the right hands. Booker reverses the Irish whip by Cena into a flapjack
before the high heel kick gets 2. Cena with more rights but Booker gets a suplex for 2. Booker goes for the axe kick, Cena
ducks and time is UP. Angle tells Booker to clear the way for RVD as we go to:
Back to John Cena
vs. Rob Van Dam Three Pack Challenge for the #1 contendership to the US Title at the Great American Bash (thank God for copy
RVD gets a quick rollup for 2 and a small package
for the same. Cena cinches the headlock in before coming off the ropes with a shoulderblock. RVD gets a hurracanrana but Cena
hangs on to score 2 again. RVD with rights in the corner but the monkey flip charge misses. RVD goes for the spinning thrust
kick but Cena clotheslines him HARD out of the air for 2~! Wicked shot. Cena opens up with the knees and boots before the
corner whip and shoulder tackle get 2. Corner-whip-and-charge by Cena eats elbow and RVD gets a legtrip rollup for 2. Cena
gets a suplex for 2 before going for the FU but RVD escapes and gets the stepover spin kick for 2. RVD with forearms, a kick,
a slam, and the split-legged moonsault for 2. RVD goes up for the Five Star Frog Splash but Booker crotches RVD on the top,
prompting Angle to eject Booker from ringside. Wrong guy, dummy. Cena goes up for the superplex but RVD sends him to the mat
and nails the spinning thrust kick proper. RVD finally hits the Five Star Frog Splash but time is UP as we go to:
to John Cena vs. Rene Dupree Three Pack Challenge for the #1 contendership to the US Title at the Great American Bash.
takes Dupree down and wails away but Dupree gets an elbowdrop for 2 followed by a running knee to the gut for 2 again. Dupree
hammers Cena on the mat with rights and does the Ric Flair strut (damned well, I might add) before landing a forearm for 2
again. Dupree gets the abdominal stretch and Cena hiptosses his way out but Dupree gets the spinebuster for 2. Cena fires
back and lands the sunset flip off the ropes for 2. Dupree with a backbreaker for 2 before the corner-whip-and-charge eats
boot and both men crack heads and drop like flies. Cena is up first and gets the Irish whip and clothesline for 2. Cena does
the Can't See taunt and lands the 5 Knuckle Shuffle for 2. See what happens? Scott Keith abandons the show and Cena abandons
the All New 5 MOVES OF DOOM. Is THIS what you wanted, Scott? Are you HAPPY NOW?? Cena Pumps Up and goes for the FU but Cena
counters with a harder spinebuster for 2. And 2 more. And 2 more. And 2 more. And 2 more. Cena blocks a powerbomb attempt
by Dupree and time is UP. Dupree asks for 5 more minutes and Angle grants his wish, prompting some nice heel/face banter between
Cole and Tazz. Cena slugs away at Dupree but Rene nails a powerslam and does the often-imitated, never-duplicated French Tickler~!
Cena is up, however, and this time the FU connects for 3 for Cena! Cena survives but Angle nullifies the win and declares
that Cena will defend the US Title at the Great American Bash against Dupree, RVD AND Booker T in a Fatal Four Way match.
Now THAT should be really cool...especially if Booker takes the US Title. Logically, it would make sense for Cena to then
go after the WWE Title held by Bradshaw (should he beat Eddie) in a feud that should have happened in the first place. Post-match,
Booker is back to jump Cena and RVD is in to jump Booker and clear the ring. RVD makes a gesture for the belt and Cena denies
him, prompting RVD to kick Cena in the head and leave him laying as Angle smiles on and we go to:
to Paul E out to the ring with a shoulder bag, where he states that the home viewing audience should hit the record button
on the VCR NOW so we can see where it all started. Paul E declares he's about to become the most powerful man in WWE
out comes the Undertaker. Undertaker makes it to the ring and Paul E produces the urn. A LOONNNNGGGGGGGG staredown
ensues...and Undertaker drops, kneels, and worships the urn and its new owner.- as the show ends.
Not a bad outing
at all. Decent debut out of Suzuki and a segment worthy of the WWE Champion over the US Title (which does THAT belt nothing
but good). Toss in the reunion of Paul E Dangerously And Mean Mark Callous and youll get no complaints here.
for reading, y'all.
For more interesting (?) reading, click here.
Be sure to visit EdWolf for all of your (non-video) gaming needs, Rehab Radio for some good surfing music, and The Wrestling Fan for a good chuckle or two.